Stress In Men: It’s Not Weakness - It’s A Call To Action

79% of UK adults report feeling stressed at least once a month, whilst 34% of Americans say they’re overwhelmed by stress on most days.

It’s safe to say that stress is something we all experience and to say otherwise would actually be unusual. However, being stressed is actually a good thing….. up to a certain point.

Stress is our body’s natural response to a challenging situation. This could be in our personal lives or at work. When we’re in these moments, our body releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol to help get us ready for action.

Our stress response is a great way to remind us that we care, it helps boost our motivation to complete a goal or task, and it can give us a competitive edge in the real world.

First responders can use a variety of techniques to control adrenaline and manage stress.

“Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle.” - Bill Philips

When does stress become an obstacle in our lives?

Stress becomes more of a concern when this feeling lasts for an extended period of time.

Sure, a short burst of stress is sometimes what we all need to run and catch the bus, hit a new PB at the gym, or present to your boss’s boss in a team meeting.

But when that meeting ends, you find your seat on the bus, or you finish your workout, it’s not helpful for us to still experience these feelings - and that’s where it can get in the way of our personal and professional lives!

The World Health Organisation define stress as;

“A state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation”

In the UK 79% of adults report feeling stressed at least once a month, and 51% of those also report feeling depressed. In the US we see much of the same pattern with 34% of adults reporting they felt stressed or completely overwhelmed on most days.

A large reason stress levels are so high is due to work-related stress, typically due to the lack of meaningful work, long working hours, work pressures and work-place culture. Similarly, worries about money and health rank as some of the top reasons for feeling stressed.

Men are particularly prone to finance-related stress, due to the cultural expectation to provide for a family. This can also be attributed to the way men are socialized!

Financial stability is similarly seen as a mark of success amongst their peers. When studying the psychological impact of financial struggles in the UK an Independent article stated:

'“Many men find it particularly difficult to talk about money worries because they associate money with their success as individuals or even as a mark of their character. A friend who is having money problems, no matter what the reason is, may see it as a personal failure and refuse to talk about it.”

How Does Stress Differ In Men?

As mentioned above, everyone experiences stress but men appear to experience it differently so it’s important you know what to look out for when it comes to yourself or male loved ones. Women do tend to report higher levels of stress and more extreme stress when compared to men but this may not be as clear cut as “men don’t get stressed out as much”.

Although stress is a universal experience, the way in which we express it or feel it in our bodies is not always the same - and we see this difference really come to the surface when we take a closer look at stress in men.

Signs of stress for everyone are varied. But at a high level, we can think of these as psychological signs and physical signs.

The psychological signs are probably the ones we’re more familiar with. Emotions of sadness, low mood, withdrawing or isolating ourselves, worrying a lot, mood swings, or feeling anxious are textbook examples.

Physical signs on the other hand may include chest pain, high blood pressure, tiredness, stomach cramps, or muscle aches and pains.

The interesting thing for men however, is that we’re more likely to experience the physical signs than the psychological ones.

Of course, this may not apply to all of us, but research often shows that men experience more physical symptoms of stress. Common signs include headaches, muscle tension, digestive problems, fatigues and challenges around sleep.

Extending this further, men are also more likely to feel irritable and frustrated - this may express itself as anger as this is sometimes used by men to hide or mask other feelings.

Taking these points into consideration, it may be too simplistic to say that women experience more stress than men as it’s quite common for all of us, including medical professionals, to overlook these different signs men may experience.

What are the Signs of Stress In Men?

When it comes to spotting stress in yourself or your loved ones, there are some key things to look out for. A key consideration is to note that signs of stress in men often means you need to look beyond the surface.

As mentioned above, men may experience more physical signs you need to keep an eye out for. Things like frequent headaches, muscle tension, digestive discomfort, or just constantly feeling exhausted or fatigued.

Similarly, if you notice irregular sleep patterns this may also be a sign of stress. Finding it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep for long periods of time are common things to look out for. You may find yourself waking up in the night quite often - again this may contribute to you feeling fatigued.

Building on this, men may process and communicate stress differently. Stress may express itself as feeling frustrated often, quite irritable, which can lead to bursts of anger. This can make it hard to spot, but it’s a way of saying “this is difficult at the moment, I need some space”.

Rather than outbursts, some men may also express stress in the other direction - withdrawing from social events, becoming less talkative, and stop interacting with our hobbies. Some of this may overlap with feeling tired like we mentioned before, but it’s also another way for us to create some thinking space.

Because the above feelings can also be unpleasant, some of us may also lean more towards unhealthy strategies to try and feel better. Classic signs may mean more alcohol use, substance use, or other vices such as gambling. We don’t typically label these signs as stress, but it’s well understood that men are on average more likely to use substances to help take the edge off when coping with stress.

Self-isolation is a common male indicator of stress

How Can Men Deal With Stress?

Alright, so it’s not all doom and gloom. We’ve discussed what to look out for, so now what should we do about it? As mentioned in the beginning, stress is a good thing. It’s your body's way of telling you something is up. It’s easy for us to overlook it, or even ignore and hope it will go away - but in reality we can take these signs of stress as a call to action before things get worse.

1. Exercise

First and foremost, stress is an energising response - it gets you pumped and ready for action. A healthy way to make use of this energy is to channel it into something productive. This often includes exercise and fitness. Exercise is a proven stress reliever—whether it’s going for a run, lifting weights, or simply taking an intense walk, staying active helps regulate stress hormones and improve your mood.

It’s way easier for us to put our heads in the sand and act like it’s not there. When we start listening to our bodies and taking stress as a call to action, it helps us build resilience and self-awareness.

2. Diet

Pair exercise with healthy eating, as good nutrition plays a vital role in keeping your mind and body balanced. Exercise alongside a good diet can also help improve sleep, and getting consistent rest can work wonders for your stress levels. Plus, you might also start putting on some muscle, get fitter, or more in shape in the process.

3. Reflection

The better we are able to recognise stress signs and use it as an alert system we can start to take a step back and reassess what’s causing it. Being mindful, journalling, or getting back into your hobbies can help ground us to reflect and decompress.

Another way to use stress as a call to action, is to acknowledge that it’s our responsibility to look after ourselves. We can start to use it as a sign to reflect on how we’re feeling before falling into vicious cycles. This is a skill that can be improved by journaling, meditation, reading, long walks or general peace and quiet. It also allows us to better look out for our friends, brothers, fathers, uncles cousins and teammates.

Being able to transform your stress into taking steps forward to overcome it is key. You can think of it as taking charge of your well-being and health. It’s a proactive move that helps not only yourself, but also those around you.

4. Therapy

The same goes for talking therapies or counselling. A professional can support you to develop more strategies that are tailored towards your preferred stress-management style. Medication may also be an effective solution, especially as stress is heavily linked with our hormones.

You don’t have to do all of these, or maybe a combination is more helpful for you. At the end of the day it’s personal to you, but think of it as your own Swiss army knife that has different tools for the job.

This is at the heart of what we do here at Brotherly. Our mission is grounded in replacing bad habits with positive, more productive ones to help foster a healthy lifestyle that tackles stress head on. Our Brotherly ‘Build’ section is dedicated to facilitating and providing educational material, activities, hobbies, and male-based communities so that everyone has the support they need to manage stress.

Our goal at Brotherly is to offer a range of different options based on your feedback so we can personalise recommendations to each person. 

At the end of the day it’s impossible to completely eliminate stress from our lives. Instead, the aim of the game is to find your own strategies to effectively manage it and channel in a way that benefits you rather than tears you down.

Taking the time to listen to your stress signals, identify your unhealthy habits, and put an action plan in place to keep you strong and healthy can be a complete game-changer. By doing so, you’ll not only handle life’s challenges better but you’ll also inspire those around you to do the same.